Well, if Nick is going to publicly bitch-slap me, then I feel that I at least have a right to respond. Honestly, I would rather be at the dentist having a root canal but some thing just have to be done.

Note that the following is in reference to the following entries in his blog (eJournal): Chasing Amy, Futile and "Just Friends" Bullshit.

History:
Nick and I dated from December 31, 2002 to January 21, 2003. During that time, we spent massive amounts of time talking on the phone and also spent most weekends together. We were pretty open and honest with each-other. During the last week, Nick told me that he loved me. This kind of slapped me in the face and I sat down to take a hard look at how I felt about him. I came to the conclusion that I enjoyed spending time with him, but I wasn't in love with him. In my heart, I just did not feel that we would be together for a long period of time. So, on the night of the 21st, I told Nick that I didn't feel that we should date anymore. I wasn't saying that I didn't want to ever see him again. I still wanted him to be a part of my life, but I just didn't feel that a romantic relationship was in the cards. If he didn't want to speak to me for a while or ever again, I understood that. Instead, he took it was an erie calm.

Over the next week or so, we chatted a bit and he asked me about the possibility of trying again, and I told him the same thing. I just didn't have romantic feelings for him. He pushed a few more times until he asked me to reconsider on Thursday night. His question went something like if I had not used the "l" word, would we still be dating or would we have ended up in this spot. My response was "eventually, yes". His response was that he couldn't be friends with me and that this would be the last time that I would hear from him. That wasn't my desire, but I told him that I would respect his request.

Well, last night I received an instant message from him. I asked him if he was ok because I wasn't expecting to hear from him. Again, he asked me if I would reconsider and I told him that I didn't want to date him, but over time I would like to be friends with him. I kindly asked him to take some time to think about some of the statements in his Chasing Amy entry. I personally, do not feel that I am his other half. We only dated for 3 weeks. How can you know someone that deeply after only 3 weeks? I also believe that in order to be in a relationship, I must feel fairly complete and that I cannot look to other people to make my life complete.

Throughout our entire relationship, I feel that both of us have been open and honest. I did not lead Nick on and have been open and honest about my feelings throughout the entire relationship. Nick was also open and honest about his feelings. I just don't feel that it is fair for him to drag me through the mud and say that I am using the "just friends" excuse so that I can feel superior or make myself feel better. I'm not saying that I am perfect by any means. I committed to the relationship too soon, but I attempted to right my mistakes as soon as I came out of my fog and infatuation.

So, I would like to be friends, but if that is what Nick is willing to do. Either way, I wish him the best of luck in the future.